YOU ONLY HAVE YOURSELF TO BLAME!
Being a Bald Woman during the 80s was very different, than today. Hard renting homes to a "bald person like you". People like me without hair! Yes "bald people like me". I heard the same insult numerous times throughout the years. Each time it came with another face and another reason. The ignorance was the same no matter where I went. In the USA or overseas. Confrontations and negative responses became continuous on a daily basis. Catching buses or cabs was an event in itself, being hollered at with profanity. I was attacked in taxi cabs and driven off my destination. Approached by men who asked me "What are you, a man or a woman?" Even had police order me to get off the street, or go put something on your head. Saying "you are attracting too much attention and disturbing the peace". Wouldn't get served in restaurants or stores, so I had to speak up! Always under surveillance by security guards in malls who were tailing me ... waiting with police vans. Warned that I'm being watched. Had Soda and trash thrown over me from passing cars as I walked with my kids or stood waiting for a bus. Had an entire bus load of passengers along with my kids and my brother detour off rout and driven to the police station. Being dragged under my arm off the bus by a police officer. Later on received regretful apologies from the head of police. Not to mention cars trying to run me down while crossing the road and cursing at me. Men literally spat on me, out of car windows and directly in my face as these events were never ending.
This was the ugliness of individuals, so I had nothing to be concerned about. Not allowing it to sway my thoughts about self. I let it slide and for every abusive encounter it made me stronger. Giving me their power was the one thing which paved my way to feelings of self esteem and self worth. Challenged and overcome. I knew how to deal with the loathing of others and never giving in to harassment. It was ignorance of the times and it was those with their inability to understand or accept change in a forever evolving new world. A new way of seeing people with differences. Diversity on all levels is something society is going to accept and learn about as the numbers of people without hair rises. Embracing the relentless change in human spirit and accepting tolerance in relation to ones appearance is the one thing I welcome. I convinced myself that I was strong and faced what ever struggles endured. My character was constantly being challenged, also acknowledgement and awareness of self which I was destined to answer to.
Deep within the core of my being I questioned myself needing to seek my innate worth. I may have walked bald, although inside my heart was torn. I carried a somber sadness and my spirit felt stained. Those silent whispers and shadows from others insecurities followed my every move. I was angry at perception, opinion and judgment by labeling me other than the person I truly am. Believing that I played a big part in the impression of others in regards to how they received my energy. People can pick up on feelings of insecurity we carry in our body language, giving my power away each time as I explained or excused myself for having no hair. Who were they to question, perceive, or judge and point their finger at something they knew nothing about. Over time the whispers and shadows evaporated as I grew to understand the meaning of letting go.
Acceptance is more prevalent today as there is much openness and willingness to embrace difference in a positive way towards hair loss. Most people are curious, complimentary and open to understanding. I'm not concerned if they believe I have a serious disease - for this is all they know right now and I appreciate why they relate "Bald to Cancer". As I have mentioned previously, people in a crowd have no face, so they don't have a negative or positive effect on the way one should think. I don't concern myself about perception, judgment or opinion in regards to what one thinks. It's not relative to my plight, my life and existence. They don't care on a personal level so why should I care about what one thinks of me. To carry any shame or burden over peoples thoughts in regards to baldness and hair loss ... or covering to appease their discomfort is a hopeless waste of energy and time. A stranger always cares because they relate hair loss to another disease and they may not be aware Alopecia exists.
All who feel victim to baldness ... it is your own internal struggle, fear and worry which holds you back. Your own negative perception of self which cripples you. Your fear can be changed in a few moments. "cold turkey" Disrobe and remove your cover and cloak. Take off your security blanket. Not to say that you won't have other insecurities to overcome with hair loss and new situations about self will arise. Reality is ... that you have climbed one mountain and conquered the world. Alopecia is so prevalent. There are "Millions of men, women and children world wide who have Alopecia an Auto Immune Condition. I erg everyone to wake up ... stop the crying and move on. Stop saying to yourself "we have a disease, an affliction, illness, condition and we are suffering". Being a victim is no way to progress. Nobody ever died from being bald, so why keep feeding the notion of a negative victim roll expecting sympathy and pity. By practicing the drama game all you will receive is pity. Stop the roll playing laced with sorrow! Videos with violins, tears and sadness. Believing it's sad fate to lose hair one becomes a prisoner to that idea. When negative thoughts manifest into despair and woe is me, you become the ruler of your own demise. Painting the picture you most hate about your own insecurity concerning hair loss.
There is no cure and it's not going to change tomorrow or any time soon. What's changing is the very thing you fear, losing time and freedom to be yourself. Alopecia covers vast lands and distances world wide so why stop living. There are millions of you and millions of me who are bald. The problem will not go away as long as millions keep hiding. Keep enabling society to think we are few in numbers. We are many! What is the reason you continue to hide, feel shame and hold back with covering up ... when as they say "The world is your oyster". Go forth and conquer is a powerful achievement. Why continue to hold on to something you have control over. It is your emotional baggage and insecurity. Your cloak which hinders your progress and happiness to experience life to the fullest. "Nobody else to blame" Embrace the change, seeing this as an opportunity to experience a new way of living and new self acceptance. Just as the changing cycles of a butterfly who evolved from it's cocoon. It is only your failure to enlightenment because you think of yourself in this debilitating manner. It is only your problem because you tell yourself it is so. You are your own worst enemy!
You will not be free until you find it within to acknowledge your worth. Wake up from this dream and stories you tell yourself. Remove the turmoil that suffocates your mind. It is you who stops yourself from fulfilling gods wishes. Let go of the pain which holds you back, as it is your human right to be free. It's only you and nobody else who has control of your thinking. It is your own doing when you hide in fear and shame. Stop the tears and face your fears. I feel that the more we as enable stupidity and negative perception to flourish, the more we shall continue to feel shame. Wake up to find out that unveiling your beauty will release you in ways you never imagined. The concern and worry in thinking everyone is looking at you becomes your own struggle within. When you stop looking at them you begin to heal and notice nothing. Rather you will come to find the more you release your inner confidence, self worth and self esteem people will gravitate towards you in acceptance and tolerance.
With the changes they see in you and the new order on how one must live without hair ... others will come to appreciate and learn about an evolving beauty amongst each other throughout this vast world! Finally put stupidity and shame to rest. Every day I enter the world without head covering. I am enlightening the blind to accept others as they are. They are introduced to a new awareness and may not be aware of it. Eventually this shall grow and continue to grow. The thing we must do is disrobe, and allow others to see the real you.
We are the teachers. If you want something to change, you must stop enabling this situation and ignorance about hair loss to continue. Disrobe and wake up People!