Upon This Rock...
“Simon Peter, this is the Rabbi I told you about. He’s staying at your house.”
Simon Peter eyed Jesus suspiciously; all priests were corrupt.
“Are you one of those Rabbis that take our money like the Romans? Or are you going to tell me you’re like John the Baptist. I thought he’d help us, but he is in jail over the king’s bedroom sins – what a kick in the butt.
“No one talks about the real stinking problem – the Romans who subdue us. I could care less about the spiritual when this stinking world is going to hell and dragging me with it!”
Jesus laughed. He took a step toward Simon Peter and said, “Take the boat out again and I’ll come with you.”
He looked at him incredulously and then at Andrew. Simon Peter sighed deeply choosing his words carefully, endeavoring no disrespect; but he was tired to the bone, wet, and sore all over - it came out wrong.
“We fracking just got here; we’ve been out four stinking days! I am tired, disgusted, and miss my damn wife and children. Not today Rabbi, maybe another time.”
He turned around and screamed, "Get the nets out of the fracking boat!" He returned to help unload provisions and gear off the fishing vessel.
Andrew gave a tortured look to Jesus and ran after Peter, “Listen to the Rabbi – believe me, he’s truly a man of God. Please Simon, do this one thing – I swear on my soul you’ll not regret it.”
Simon Peter shot Jesus a long steely eye. He pouted for a moment, torn between the pleas of his brother and the Rabbi standing so coolly in the distance, as if he knew the lake better than a professional fisherman and captain of two crafts. It was ludicrous and a complete waste of time.
“Okay Rabbi, we’ll see if the fish holler halleluiah and jump into the fracking boat,” Simon Peter said dripping rabid sarcasm.
Throwing the rope into the boat, he turned to his crew, “Cast off, here we stinking go again!” Peter rolled his eyes knowingly as everyone looked at Jesus as if he had two heads.
Jesus looked at the boat moored on the adjacent dock watching James and John mending their nets; he called to them.
And Jesus, Andrew, Phillip, James and John went into the boat with the second vessel following behind. About thirty-yards off shore, Jesus, commanded them to stop and cast their nets.
Simon Peter just couldn’t help himself; he bellowed,” We are too fracking close to shore – even a stinking child knows there are no stinking fish here!”
“Just do it!” Andrew shouted from the other boat.
Simon Peter threw up his hands rolling his eyes wildly, face red with atomic rage; he reluctantly gave the order and the nets were cast.
Two minutes later, Jesus commanded them to pull up the nets.
Simon Peter exploded. “You’re a fracking joke and I don’t care what my stinking brother says; you don’t know what you’re doing! Stick to stinking preaching man of God!”
Cursing under his breath, he shot Jesus a blistering look and ordered the nets up – he was going home; this was kindergarten ridiculous. And what bothered him the most was that Jesus never reacted to his anger, but kept a countenance of utter peace. The last thought that crossed his mind before he realized the nets were full was; this guy is a fracking lunatic.
The crews’ bulging muscles sheening with sweat from the effort strained retrieving the heavy nets. Thousands of fish were flopping on the bottom of the boat, while both crews attempted to find traction on the thigh-deep carpet of flopping fish; and still the nets budged in the waters. As they returned to the shore, both boats were so filled with fish that they threatened to sink. When the two ships returned, hundreds of stunned fishermen flocked around them as the story was spread throughout the docks.
The crews in the background were loudly praising the Lord and Jesus. Simon Peter fell to his knees with tears burning his cheek, “Leave from me Rabbi for I’m truly a wicked man...”