One of my favorite quotes says, “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and wishing your enemies die.” If this is true, and I believe it is, imagine the damage that is incurred when we refuse to forgive ourselves. Often it is ourselves that we hold to unattainable standards and scrutiny. We seem treat the worse people with better courtesy than we feel we deserve. In some effort to be pious or seem humble, we gladly fall to the back of the line and struggle to be content with life’s scraps. Where did we obtain such a concept? And more importantly; how in the world do we learn to rise above it?
The bible gives an outline for how to interact with others. It is recorded, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” We’ve emphasized and mastered to some degree the part about loving the neighbor. But where we lack is the freedom to love ourselves. The first step to loving ourselves is accepting that we are worthy of our own forgiveness. Unforgiveness in any form is deadly, but compound guilt, frustration and failure and you have a cocktail that’s sure to short circuit any success. Where many are missing the mark is in the area of how they interact with themselves.
There are things we can do to alleviate that negative speech we hear between our ears. More often than not, it is in the area of past mistakes and regret that haunt us.
- Embrace everything you are, and everything you are not: It is human nature to cater to your strengths and pretend you have no weaknesses. But that’s just not real. We all have shortcomings. We all wish we were better. You are who you are for a reason.
- Learn the art of self affirmations: You can’t wait for the world to celebrate you. Throw yourself a party every morning in the mirror by reminding yourself of where you are going. Celebrate the journey life has blessed you to take.
- Write a list of why you deserve your own forgiveness: If you have ever truly forgiven someone, you know the weight it lifts from you both. Now take that and apply it to yourself today. Document some reasons a person like you deserves to be forgiven for their past, then walk in it.
- Change the meaning of your story: Life is all about perception. There’s really no good or bad, but how we see it. With this understanding, go over your past and rewrite what you will allow it to mean to you. This gives you ownership of your past and confidence in your future.
It is said that it doesn’t matter whether your glass is half empty or half full as long as you have a glass. Life is offering us a constant opportunity to expand and grow. We usually allow how we think about ourselves to determine how far we go. Today we can grab life and shape a better tomorrow by operating in self-forgiveness. It can change your life and those connected to you.
See you at the TOP!
Life Coach / Transitional Specialist