© 2012 by Oana
Some people are to the writers’ community what Jehovah’s Witnesses are to our neighborhoods.
They want you to know more about them and they want to be your friends.
You don’t.
They want you to hear the good news.
You don’t.
They think their message is important to you.
It is not.
I have no idea who their “marketing guru” is, but flooding a person’s inbox with messages about your book is a little bit of a nuisance, to say the least. And I wouldn’t be so turned off if the messages were bubbly appealing, and original.
Let me give you an example:
Hello Ms. Oana,
I just wanted to say hello and thanks for the connection.
(?)
It is so good to be part of the greater family of writers
Cheesy but nothing wrong so far
I've been extremely busy lately
Hmm… no bueno
with my book, Passionless Connections II
Oh, NO!
Guess what? My book received thirty-three five star reviews and it‘s been on the market for just two days.
Bullshit!
Please buy it right away! Also, do not forget to visit my author’s website at www….
I need to get my nails done!
Warm regards and keep the ink flowing!
Ivan Lotsa Kitsch
Author of acclaimed novels
My Depression Is Not Yours, Your Depression Is Not Mine, and Passionless Connections I and II
Well, I’d better reply to that one. Oh, and let me not forget to carbon-copy some five thousand more recipients on this occasion.
Here we go:
Dear Mr Kitsch,
Thank you so much for your friendly message.
Sorry I did not get back to you right away. My hands were greasy from lotion, I could not type, actually I was rubbing lotion into my breasts… did I just spark your interest? By the way I, too, am a writer. Feel free to check out my author’s website at www.thehealings.net