Oh my God! He is alone again. It is worse than in the desert. These people are harder than stone. Yonder disciple lies who is considered dearest to the Teacher. He slumbers like all, perhaps his sleep is sounder than others because he is the youngest. I am alone awake. I suffer together with him here. But I am dumb as wall. Nobody notices me. I am like shadow. Perhaps I am not human and I do not have my own soul.