The Writer's Life 6/18 - Chips

I slummed on the golf course today. I would have had a good time if not for faulty chipping. I was so inept I needed at least eight extra chips during the round. It was a long day. There was an outing at our usual haunt, Forest Park, so we headed over to Kissena, which is in beautiful condition, especially its greens. It's a short course, par 64, but charming. A lot of the holes have bizarre lay-outs. Second shots are almost always a short iron. We waited at least an hour to play and were paired with a nice Asian couple, Willie and Shirley. Of course, goofballs that Cuz and I are we couldn't help but whisper Leslie Nielsen's immortal line from Airplane: "And don't call me Shirley." She was a good player, hitting it short and sweet a lot of the time, starting out at the same tee as her hubby. Willie had a stellar front nine, making a number of pars. He would have had a shot at breaking 80 but left after nine holes. Shirley stayed. Cuz had his first good round of the year, shooting 83, keeping mistakes to a minimum and sinking several stroke-saving mid-range putts. I shot 88. I've always contended that 80 is the target at Kissena, 85 at Forest. Only a few years ago I would have been totally depressed by such a poor performance. I recorded my stats religiously at playerlink.com. I now try to keep it fun. So far I haven't exhibited any of the idiocy I let my past frustrations engender. 

I hit rush hour traffic on the drive home. Fortunately, the Belt Parkway moved smoothly or I might still be out there. Cuz has met some interesting celebrities lately in his chauffeuring duties: Tony LaRussa, Nolan Ryan, Dan Rather and Debra Winger, who he said looked great. Surprisingly - at least to me, Rather was very nice, conversing the entire ride. I guess we shouldn't judge a person by his politics. 

Congratulations to Webb Simpson for his victory in the U.S. Open. While being interviewed by Bob Costas, Simpson said he at times was so nervous he had no feeling in his legs and pounded on them to restore it. Amazing. I'm not surprised. My golf rounds are meaningless in the grand scheme of things, and there have been moments on the course when the cheeks of my butt puckered like a clenched fist. Human beings are endlessly fascinating.

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